Monday, November 21, 2011

Warehouse Parties

I know that the New York Warehouse party idea is so cliched at this point, it's a stereotype - but that didn't stop me from signing up for listservs that email you directions to sketchy places in Brooklyn, and ask you to dress up in costumes. Considering the amount of ridiculousness that is New York, I figured "why not? I'm game."

It was sponsored by Danger, a now defunct group of promoters headed by a Mr. Etundi. The party itself was pretty fabulous. My roommate and I nabbed tickets online, before the thing sold out in a few hours. We dressed up, her in a long black back revealing dress. Myself in cream, with long white gloves, red lipstick. The invite said to be rag-tag dressy, or something, and we did that with some oomph. I am willing to admit that yes. There was a headpiece, and it received a mighty many compliments.

The first location was just off the Gowanus bridge, at a metal work studio. Large iron sculptures adorned the inside. A man in a white mask played a somber cello song. And upstairs on the loft, there was a tree house, and girls on a metal hoop scantily clad in white holding candles.



Then some limo's came, and our host introduced herself as Placenta, for that night at least. And we rode to a warehouse apparently titled Shang Hai Mermaid. We entered, and behind the red curtained door was a human in a large tree costume, welcoming us in.

There were candles, and a bar in the back. It was a cross between a speakeasy, and a electronica minimalistic dj party. The drinks were strong, and champagne was thrown out.

"Shang...Hai...Person...fish?" I said, reading about half the characters on the post. "Man, I can barely read anything. How embarrassing."

"I got person. 'Bout it." My roommate said.

There was a photobooth, and outside, a large bonfire which my roommate and I thoroughly enjoyed. Around 3 in the morning, we decided to call it quits - and called a car back home.

Can things like this happen in other cities? I've wondered about these sort of incidents. On my way out, I saw a girl offer socks to another.

"I know I probably will never see you again, but here!" She said, her large feather boa dangling around her neck.

These tiny minute incidents are largely (I think) what make up the New York mentality. Which seems to be appreciate the small minutia, momentary connections with complete strangers who you might never see again. To wonder in the future seems verboten - almost silly. I felt exhausted at times trying to keep up with the energy needed to continually introduce yourself, and represent yourself properly.

I can already hear Krod and Kdef shaking their heads. And I'm hardpressed to accurately describe the blissful feeling of anonymity with possibility. You can be anyone just walking around, but at any moment, you could meet a future roommate, or business venture. It all seems doable, albeit no less difficult.

It was neither my first nor my last Brooklyn venture, and considering how I woke up with both kidneys - I consider my night a success. Everything in my room now smells like nicotine and campfire, delectable if particular.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Fear of Failure

Ah! I've been neglecting this blog lately! I guess sometimes life interferes. A lot has happened since my last post, mostly work things. I've had lab/GRE tunnel vision lately...super stressful! However, this afternoon I had an amazing essay writing session with a high school student, which put me back on track. She came in with no idea what she wanted to write and left with an entire rough draft. Working with her and unleashing our combined creativity was an awesome experience. It reminded me of how much I love students and teachers and why I want to help them as much as possible through my research.

I feel like I've been losing sight of my dreams lately. Not in the sense that I don't know what I want, but that I won't be able to execute my plans. At it's core, my problem is a basic fear of failure. In September I read this article in the NYT about how the American educational system fails to instill students with "character." I must say I agree. My fancy education has endowed me with an inflated ego, a sense of entitlement, and a fear of being...human. I've always considered myself very compassionate and percipient, both of which contribute immensely to my character...but I've found I lack the ability to fully accept and process failure (a crucial aspect of a well-rounded character). I make the grave mistake of taking failure as a form of rejection from the world around me. And I'm sick of it. 

I've had enough of this bullshit failure-will-define-you-and-ruin-your-future attitude that pervades society. I make mistakes. A lot of them. And I'm not about to stop. In fact, I just typed "define human" into a Google search. The synonyms: "person - individual - soul - mortal". Soul, mortal...they imply something outside of the realm of action and something inherently flawed. Proof:



I've realized that fearing failure is only holding me back. Rather than pushing myself towards innovation, I've settled into a banal comfort zone. This place is no fun. There's no room for personal growth. 

Where do I begin my journey towards acceptance? I've been inspired by a child. 

Every Tuesday night I mentor two 8 year old girls. One of them always has a ridiculous spelling assignment where she has to write out her words a million times. Whenever her hands get tired or she starts making too many mistakes, she stops and does what she calls "the crazy arm stretch hand dance." And boy, is it intense. Basically, she starts stretching like an Olympian and concludes with a few seconds of erratic finger movements....kind of like she's playing the piano...on crack. Her activities usually capture the attention of those around her, which might embarrass a less confident child...but not Jesy. Her philosophy, "I don't care if I look silly! It helps me finish my words and get a 100 in spelling!"

Now, excuse me while I go do the crazy arm stretch hand dance of life. You should try it.